In Discovering the Mind of Women husbands learn to understand their wives as Christ would. From this point they learn to respond to their wives in a consistent Christlike manner. A radically transformed and renewed marriage is the result.

Drawing from his own story and the stories of husbands whose marriages were dissolving, Ken Nair reveals major problems in life and marriage. After discussing the problems, he reveals relationship altering concepts which not only will revive a marriage, they will radiate throughout couple's lives as well.

As for me and my house... (5.0)

I was given this book years ago by a good friend. Though my marriage was not bad, my wife had been trying to tell me some things that I just didn't see. This book, and the Holy Spirit, helped to open my eyes to my wife's struggles. Now that I am learning (always learning...) how to love my wife more, she has become more of who God has created her to be. She's not working to try and please me, but she does please me, and she pleases God, and she is pleasing herself as well. She is free from the bondage of legalistic teachings. It is for freedom Christ set us free, right? I shared this book with my son in law and he will attest that it has helped him start off his and my daughter's marraige on good, solid ground. They will celebrate their 5th anniversary soon and he still refers to this book. Being a man is not easy. Being a godly man is even harder, but I am looking forward to the good fruit in my family for generations to come. Thanks to Ken for having the guts to write this.

Great book for women also (5.0)

I am almost done reading this book. My husband has not read the entire book yet either but it has already helped our marriage. My husband and I have been married less than a year. With his long 3rd shift hours and two children it has been hard. He has made me feel neglected and even though I know he loves me I did not feel like he knew what his role was as a father and husband. It has been hard for me to express my feelings to him without him taking offense to my feelings, but this book has explained exactly why I have gotten distant and uncaring towards him. It is easier for him to understand since reading this book. I have read a few bad comments about this book and I think they read some things out of context. As a woman I can say that this book has pinpointed the things that have been on my mind and it has discussed issues that I think are important. I believe it has improved our marriage. Loved it!

Alluring title; dangerous at any speed for women as well as men (1.0)

I bought Ken Nair's book because of internal desire to live sensitively with my wife. I felt motivated to be her best friend and to live with her in a gentle and understanding way. I sought to understand her like the back of my own hand and to be a "professional" at loving my wife, so I eagerly placed an order with excitement about this book's advertised benefits.

Ken Nair's theology, as presented by this book, seems to boil down to the idea that women (or wives, specifically) do not sin. Readers are to understand that even if a woman appears to be sinning, what's really happening is that she's doing good: she is actually doing God's handiwork to punish and chasten the horrible lout of a man that she married.

Generally if and whenever a wife does something sinful it is a response to her husband. We are to understand that the situation was probably even deliberately set up by God so that God could get at the husband; in this sense we can run with this reasoning and "see" that for all practical purposes she's not even really responsible for having sinned in the first place.

Ken's theology works its way deeply through discussion of all kinds of topics considered in the book.

Ken "proves" his thinking in one section of the book by asking if a woman seems to be behaving worse within the marriage than before she married or if she is experiencing emotional difficulties that she did not evidence before the marriage. If so, this is offered as "proof" positive of the utter horridness of the particular man she married. Ken's "proof" system ignores myriad possibilities, for example that the woman may be suffering from depression, may have brought sinful attitudes into the marriage that began to play out, experienced disappointments in her life beyond the bounds of the marriage, or after marrying has personally stumbled with any number of sinful attitudes or patterns of behavior that are possible. Clinically a woman might even suffer from a personality disorder, (which by definition only emerges when interacting with another person), and yet Ken assures the reader that a woman who behaves badly toward her husband is clearly and certainly responding to a despicable husband.

Ken does employ the notion of male Christian headship of a marriage (a complementarian perspective on the Bible), but to the best of my ability to discern this sound teaching ends up perverted in Ken's application.

It's plausible that Ken really meant well and meant to be understanding towards his wife and other wives when he wrote this; but the results appear to be an very deeply serious misfire.

You could say that this book is bad for guys, or bad for marriages, but maybe an argument could be made that this book is really, really worst of all for women.

Wives may find they are very naturally attracted by this book, but a Christian woman who really wants to walk in relationship with Jesus cannot benefit from a theology that her sin is not really sin and is the handiwork of God in fixing or punishing her husband. A woman's relationship with her husband is also unlikely to benefit if Ken's theology is believed, and deterioration of the very relationship that she wanted to be "better" could be an outcome of working within such a broken framework.

Some specific men in specific situations at a specific instant in time may experience a wake-up call regarding their own sin and need for sensitivity towards their wives, (as posted in some other reviews on Amazon), but positive outcomes of that kind do not make this a positive book that can be relied on and referred to by a couple. In these situations the best course of action may be to be thankful for the positives that have taken place, and then dispose of the book quickly into a recycle bin.

In this book the modern Western philosophy that males are louts is injected into "Christianese" sounding teaching.

Ken takes the basic concept of sin and the fallenness of mankind and turns it into a deranged, anti-male theology in which women are the almost-sinless agents of the Lord. A "please avoid" rating would have been given if Amazon offered such a thing.

Excellent! (5.0)

I think this is the best thing I have EVER read about how a woman thinks and feels. Though this book is for men, women need to read it too. It is a Christian book, based in scripture, but even if you are not a Christian, the book is 100% accurate. It is a MUST READ, in my opinion, for everyone!

Are you ready for this? (5.0)

Disclaimer: A husband must be ready to look at himself, give up some pride, and be honest before he can understand this book.

The moral of this book is:
Can you love your wife as Christ loved the church? Can you give yourself up for her? If you can, your marriage will be great.
The husband is the leader, not by dictate, but by example.

I see some of the negative reviews that are totally missing the point. Some are generalizing and saying that its all the husband's fault. This is not true.
In the book you can see how the husband CAN make his wife feel a certain way but he is not responsible for her actions.

Men and women are different and the secular world does Christians a dis-service by trying to show how marriage is supposed to be.
You can't learn unless you can un-learn what the world teaches.

Ken's book tells husbands what they need to hear, but you have to be ready to listen.

The book explains that our wives can help us have a good marriage, but husbands need to start treating their wives as themselves and try to live with their wives in an understanding way. This book shows how to do that.

Other books focus on the "cream" of the relationship. This book focuses on the "main course". Everything else falls into place when a husband is "Christ-like" to his wife.